posted on: 2012-03-05 18:06:03
I've always wondered.

>"I hope they died painlessly." It is a mantra that we hear quite often. As though people want to die painlessly. It is simple to draw that conclusion. I don't like pain, I hope that when I die I feel no pain. The thought of drowning sounds awful because of the amount of time spent conscious and uncomfortable, the horrible experience that death is coming.

I like to be comfortable to such an extent if my sock balls up by my toe Ill flip out trying to get it righted. But when it comes to dying, no. Give me the most painful death that ever happened. I want to die in some long drawn out prolonged fashion. Biting and clawing through to the after life. This is death, don't usher me through quietly. By the time I am dead, cannibals wont even eat the body. Not because of how mutilated and disgusting the cadaver is, but because they will know the pain I went through and the memory of that pain will steal their appetite for flesh.

The pain should be so great, so prolong that it will be cast into the body forever. Morticians could never prepare the body for an open casket it will always be marked by horror. Onlookers will tremble just knowing that such pain exists. A face so contorted with agony that the bones themselves have begun to change. If there is any good fortune the death itself will cause the body to be disposed, hidden from any sane eye. Even unheard, the echoes of tortured screams will resound through the dreams of children. Waking them in the night with screams of their own. Musicians will never sing this song, it would be replete with broken strings and off key dissonance.

Were I to ascend to heaven there'd be little debate: they couldn't let me past the pearly gates. The other heavenly bodies would experience a little bit of hell that couldn't go away. Jesus himself would feel as though his tormented death was a mere prequel to my epic ablutions. Long suffers of cancers and medicines would question why their costly hospital rides weren't sufficient to free them from hearing of such suffering? Why now do they have to bear the thought of such an ungodly demise.

My acceptance to hell would also be a no go. Cruel and torturous beings would use my experience as a hope of redemption. They will decry their freedom based on the level of atrocity I commit upon them. "Never has any victim of mine been forced to bear a fate worse than I have born learning of this death." As though a gruesome death could save all of the sinners from their sentence in hell. So gruesome even satan sighs a bit of remorse.

Of course I will not choose pain when I am in pain. I was on a bike ride and I saw a raccoon. He slowly walked to the center of the street, head bowed in an almost pious manner. I watch the animal closely because he was approaching my path, which is a strange behavior for an animal. He stopped in the sunshine. I can only imagine why, maybe because he was cold, so he went to where he knew it would be warm. Some small comfort before he dies.


2012-01-29 22:11:07
Eh never knew about that gothic/morbid side in you... Believe me you'll like Black Butler:)